Introduction

It was about 2:00 a.m. I was in a place that was unfamiliar to me. On about an hour of sleep in the last forty-eight hours, I needed to be on my A game at a second’s notice. The stakes were too high, and the cost was too great for me to not be prepared for what was about to take place. It was eerily silent, as dark as the night could get, and as unknown a situation as any could prepare for. I heard the sound I was preparing for: cries from my newborn son. He awoke from his slumber needing someone to come to his aid.

At this moment in time, there were two decisions on the table facing me: (1) as exhausted as I was, I could let my wife deal with it, or (2) I could sacrifice my personal desires, such as wanting to sleep, and get up and help. Wrestling with what decision to make, I couldn’t make up my mind. I always told myself before I had kids that I wanted to set a foundation of fatherhood that was different from the messages society and culture preached to me about what it means to be a father. But being exhausted and selfishly wanting sleep challenged that dream I had for myself. Finally, the wrestling match was settled. I decided I was going to be the father I wanted to be, believed I should be, and not cower away to society’s expectations of fatherhood.

So I slowly stood up; stumbled around, trying to find my glasses; and carefully and quietly, avoiding disturbing my sleeping wife, shuffled my way toward my son’s bassinet in the post-delivery hospital room. Opening different drawers and feeling around, I was in search of diapers and wipes. Finally! I found what I was looking for, and I got to work. After I unswaddled James, I took off the diaper, replaced the diaper, and reswaddled him. James was satisfied, so I placed him back down, and he drifted back off to sleep.

“I can’t believe I did that!” I thought. I remembered promising myself I would never change a diaper until it was my own kid. I felt a sense of pride wash over me, having fulfilled that promise to myself. It was like I just finished my initiation into fatherhood. Having just changed my first diaper, I was reminded from seeing my peacefully sleeping child that I was exhausted, and I needed to get what sleep I could before I was needed again to come to the rescue.

Several hours later in the early morning, the nurse came in for the routine check-in, and while in the room, she decided to change James’s diaper. I was so happy to get a break and rest some more. I closed my eyes and drifted back off to sleep.

In the morning around 6:30 a.m., a nurse came back in when my wife and I were awake to let us in on the night’s events and how James was doing. “All things are good, except one issue,” the nurse noted. I sat up. “The diaper was on backward. Not even sure how you managed to do that,” she said in the most backhanded, insulting kind of way.

“Wow, okay,” I thought. “You didn’t have to be so rude about it.”

Okay, probably a bit of exaggeration and she probably wasn’t that rude, but after a forty-plus-hour labor, little to no sleep, and my first diaper change ever, my ability to read the situation was depleted, gone, nada. I still took it as an insult like she knew I changed the diaper. I tried to imagine what she was thinking. Thoughts filled my mind:

“Why did you even try?”

“Leave the baby stuff to the moms . . . ”

“Guys are dumb when it comes to being a dad.”

“Dads are not really supposed to be involved anyway.”

“James would have been better off with Mom changing the diaper; she actually knows what to do.”

Looking back at it, I wondered why I assumed these thoughts. I didn’t have to think long. That is what culture and society scream at dads daily. Whenever men see other dads changing diapers, playing with their kids, or holding babies, it seems unnatural or not the manly way. The voices from the crowd yell that manliness and fatherhood means “leaving the kids to the mom.” Your job is to just work, put food on the table, and discipline the kids when they disrespect Mom. These messages are anything but encouraging to men and especially first-time dads.

Culture says this, Christian culture says that, and I think God is leading me this way. It was a mess to try to sort out and took lots of work and help from God. This is what eventually led to me writing this book. How can I help prepare other men to be in a better place than where I was when fatherhood became my world?

I won’t mince words: I disagree with culture. This could not be further from the truth when it comes to dads and the roles they should have in their kids’ lives, especially in the infant years. We need to tear down the culture’s definition of dad and create a new one. Dads should be changing diapers, taking kids to appointments, staying up all night with them when sick, playing on the ground after a long day of work, feeding them bottles, making formula, getting up at night, and the list goes on. Since most men are listening to culture’s definition of fatherhood, this leaves wives carrying responsibilities like this on their own, and that is wrong. However, these are not exclusive tasks for dads to do either; instead, this is a joint effort with our wives. Neither parent is meant to carry this alone.

I did not come up with these examples on my own, and it is not only my opinion that this is the way it should be. It is the truth I found from the source of truth: the Bible. No, the Bible does not say to bottle-feed the baby or set up the baby swing, but the Creator of the universe, Creator of me, and Creator of my kids wrote the truths of life in his book. This is where I found what it is to be a dad and why it includes doing these things.

My son, James, from this story is now four years old, and it seems like a decade ago I changed my first diaper. During these four years, I was also blessed with a daughter, June, who is a joyful two-year-old, and her sister, Jovi, is our newest, freshest family member. There have been many learning curves and adventures along the way.

Over the past four years, I have learned many lessons about being a dad and what changes it has on your life. Going from married to married with kids is a huge transition in life, and I was not prepared. You think you just wake up married and it’s sunshine and rainbows? Heck no! Every married man can nod in agreement on this.

Watching my first child be born, I had no idea the work that would be required of me. Doing the math for other responsibilities I had accumulated, I was unprepared and learning on the fly. I was wandering through a marsh with tall cattails blocking my view and making it challenging to navigate my way.

I wrestled with identity, priorities, and mental health and felt like I had no tools in my belt to get me through fatherhood. No one equips men for what it takes or means to be a father, much less prepares us to leave a legacy that lasts.

There came a point about three years in when I noticed I had more of a bird’s-eye view of the playing field of fatherhood. After being in the trenches of a new dad for so long, it was refreshing to be able to have a different perspective. Imagine a drone flying up into the sky and overlooking the playing field down below. Clarity began to form in front of my eyes and in my mind. I noticed there were players in the field, there was strategy to be decided, and there were tools to get you through the different situations one would face.

In beautiful Aspen, Colorado, God dropped a thought right into my head that would change the course of my life. It was to write about everything I have learned about being a dad. I pondered it for a while, then concluded I would write the book. Everything I have discovered that lays the foundation of fatherhood is in this book. To keep my insights to myself from what I have learned would be cruel and heartless to other fathers since I know it is already so hard to be a dad. I want every dad, and especially every new dad, who reads this book to (1) feel more confident in their abilities to be a father, and (2) know that they can do it!

Deep down, I know we all want to be the best fathers we can be and leave a lasting legacy. But the question we all face is: How? How do we revive fatherhood from what seems like an impossible place with culture’s messages? Any solid building has a solid foundation. So the best way to have a lasting legacy as an impactful father many years from now is to lay the best foundations today.

Don’t believe me? I do not want you to figure it out on your own like I had to. If there had been a way to read this book myself before or after my children were born, I would have avoided so many pitfalls and potholes and gained the guidance I searched for earlier in my fatherhood journey. My desire for you is to avoid as many of the same obstacles as possible.

There are enough detours and roads to navigate in fatherhood—the burden of “How do I set myself up for success?” should not be one of them. Wrestling with your identity, confidence, or your relationships, including your relationship with yourself, only adds to the weight we feel.

I promise, if you put into practice and follow the guiding insights I provide in this book, four things will happen.

1. You will know what it is to be a dad and have more peace, confidence, rest, and self-worth in yourself and your abilities as a husband and father. Your life will be forever changed in ways your mind cannot even begin to imagine.
2. Your family will gain a leader who is prepared and equipped for the road ahead. They will be impacted by your peace, comfort, rest, security, and confidence.
3. Those in your circle will be impacted. People are always watching; they will see a transformed man.
4. Your impactful legacy will extend in and through your kids and beyond your four walls. A small domino effect of change today has the power to course-correct the history of tomorrow.

Are you thinking these are too bold? Perhaps you are saying, “Oh, wow, Steven. Those are bold promises, and I doubt you can actually promise that.” And . . . you are correct!

If it were my words and opinions you are about to read in this book, I would never make a bold promise like this. But this book is written from exploring the truth of the universe according to the Creator himself, God. I know without a shadow of a doubt that when God enters the equation, circumstances beyond our wildest dreams become realities, and the impossible becomes possible. A lost legacy becomes an impactful legacy. Broken relationships become healed. A dying life can become revived.

I warn you, though: The longer you wait, the less time you have to start putting into practice what you learn. To grow in something, requires time and discipline. If you are disciplined to implement what you learn but do not give it time, you will never see results. If you give it time but do not discipline yourself to put it into practice, then there will be no growth. I urge you to not put off reading this book and implementing what you learn. If you are a dad already or a dad-to-be, the perfect starting point is now.

My questions to you now are: Do you want to change? Do you want to change not only yourself, but also the world around you? Current dads, are you tired of the same old dance and routine that are not working? Dads-to-be, are you fearful you may end up falling into culture’s lackluster definition of dad? All dads, do you want the seemingly impossible?

Then read this book, following its guide to the very last sentence, and apply everything you learn from what God teaches you. You will journey through three sections in this book: the key players, priority management, and tools and strategies for success.

I have two disclaimers before we start this journey together.

1. Be careful; we do not want to get self-focused. When we become all-consumed with us and our story and processing our life, it takes our eyes off Jesus. Only true and life-giving fulfillment comes from when our eyes are fixated on him alone. Don’t let your eyes, being focused on yourself, rob you of your joy. Sure, we are all not going to live out what God teaches us perfectly, but that doesn’t mean we need to beat ourselves up, feel depressed, and not even try. Instead, let’s keep our eyes on Jesus and the hope he offers that life change is possible through our pursuit of him. I believe out of the overflow of this pursuit, the characteristics we need to develop as men and fathers will naturally fall into place.
2. God is a God of redemption. The whole story of the Bible is about his plan of redemption for humanity. It is in his nature and character. So even if you disqualify yourself because of the stage of life you are in or through mistakes made, it is never too late to let God redeem your life or your parenting.

Are you ready to start becoming the dad that God has created, called, and chosen you to be? Then turn the page to our first section, which begins with the ultimate character in our story: the greatest Father.

“I have no idea what I am doing,” I mumbled to myself as I walked away from my son’s bedroom having endured the bedtime routine. When he was three years old, my son believed he ran the world and I was to enjoy whatever he decided was right to do. Night after night, I endured complicated emotions dealing with countless questions, seemingly endless disobedience, and a comical attitude. In one night, I went from being happy, to being irritated, to having gut-roll laughter, to being angry, to being ashamed (from my anger), and it would repeat. I have often dreamed, “It would be nice if there were some map, rule book, or even a pamphlet that could guide me through this challenging adventure of parenthood, more specifically fatherhood.”

After I rested from the nighttime put down, I decided to dwell on my thoughts. I came to realize, being a Christ follower, I have been given the guide that I desired: the Bible. More thoughts started spilling into my mind. “What is my purpose as a father?” “Am I supposed to act a certain way?” “Does the Bible outline the recipe for success in fatherhood?” Ultimately I pondered the question, “Who is God, and what does he have to say about being a father?”

I decided I must start at the beginning. God is the first Father, and in order to know who I am to become, I must first learn about the greatest one. Who is God, what is his will for creation, what is his character, and what makes him a father? Understanding these questions is the vital starting point in our journey to knowing and becoming the fathers we were created to be.

We will split this chapter into two parts to learn about God. In the first part, we will assume the role of Adam in the story as a human being in God’s creation. This is where we will learn about who God is and his will for us as humanity and fathers. In the second section, we will be mirroring the character of God as it practically applies to us dads.

Let’s start at the very beginning of life itself, Genesis 1:1: “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was formless and empty, and darkness covered the deep waters. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the surface of the waters.”

God was here before all of existence consisting of power and creativity. He lives in the heavens surrounded by angelic beings. He is known as the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and end. We know he is a God of creativity because the rest of Genesis 1 shares the creation story and how he created all we know and see today. The best part of all creation was his plan to form man. We were made in his image and likeness and were brought to life with his breath. God’s very breath is life, and without it, we would be nothing. With his breath in the man’s lungs, he then gave him direction and responsibility. Adam, the first man, did not have to wonder what his purpose was.

God is our Father, and we are his sons. Our bodies are full of his breath, and we have been given directions and responsibilities as dads and simply humans. Have you ever wondered what your purpose is as a dad or just in general? I bet most of us have. God actually provides us with a characteristic to mirror here. He doesn’t leave his children without clear direction and responsibility. This clarity filled Adam with purpose for existence and led him to know what was most important to pursue in life. Lots of us would call this God’s will for our life.

Knowing his purpose from his given direction and responsibilities, Adam was able to understand God’s will. Look at this story a bit more. In a perfect and pure world before sin, Adam was able to feel great pleasure and happiness in a garden paradise. I mean, how could one not? Talking with God, Adam spent time growing their relationship through their walks and talks in the garden. Looking around at the splendor of the garden and life that was created, I would guarantee that Adam continually expressed his gratitude to God. God even knew Adam was lonely and created a helper for him, a beautiful woman named Eve. If you were all alone in the world and you suddenly woke up next to a gorgeous naked woman, I think the words “Thank you, Lord!” would roll right off your lips! Can you see what God willed for Adam and all his creation? He willed for his creation to be pure without sin, in a state of joy, in relationship, and on the receiving end of their praise and gratitude.

Many years later, Paul wrote something very similar in the New Testament: “Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus” (1 Thess. 5:16–18). Here Paul lists in simple terms what Adam was experiencing in the beginning. In Hebrews 12, the author writes to live a holy life. Several other places in the New Testament mention pursuing a pure life. In the Old and New Testaments, we are able to see that God’s will for our life means pursuing a life that is holy and pure, choosing joy, growing our relationship with God, and expressing our gratitude and thanks to him.

Before moving on, let’s tie this together. We as humans are blessed by God, knowing what his will for us is. It gives us a sense of purpose to get out of bed every day. In all we do, and especially in fatherhood, we are to pursue a pure life with God, choosing joy in the midst of every circumstance while always expressing gratitude to God. This clarity of direction for life is given to us from our Father, and we must pass it down to our children.

Now that we know briefly about God and his will, we probably want to know what he is like and what characteristics there are that we can mirror for our own families. I mean, if we do not know who he is, why would we want to pursue what he wills for us? There is so much to God’s character that I wouldn’t be doing anyone any favors if I wrote he can be summed up in a single word or sentence. However, I do notice that he has a couple of traits that are very practical to us as fathers. Those are grace and love. All through the Bible, we see story after story revealing his character. In stories from the beginning of the Old Testament, like Noah, we see God show the character of grace by not wiping all of humanity off the face of the earth. In stories from the New Testament, we see his love displayed through the sacrifice of his son for us. Let’s investigate these two characteristics a bit more.

Grace—unmerited and undeserved favor and provision: “And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others” (2 Cor. 9:8). Why would God give generously all that we need? What did we do to earn it? The answer is grace.

The character of God is to bless without reason. He chooses to lavish on us what we need just because. It feels weird to write this, as I am still trying to wrap my head around this topic myself. Another piece I want to point out here is that he does not just give what we need; he also gives more than we would ever need. Let’s get practical here for a moment, and let me share a story about how I experienced God’s grace in a place none other than the Home Depot.

I embarked on a journey to the Home Depot to find some cheap twenty-buck blackout shades for my son’s room. As I mentioned his troublesome bedtime routine earlier, this was an attempt to help me find some peace of mind. I figured a nice dark room should help him go to sleep peacefully. In the store, I was wandering around for about thirty minutes with my nine-month-old daughter, who had just pooped herself, and James, way past his naptime. To abandon the mission would be devastating. Shedding blood, sweat, and tears to get this far, I could not quit now. I told myself I could not leave until I found the blinds because of the hardship it was to get to the store, much less wandering around aimlessly looking for them. I even pulled up the store directory on my phone to find the correct aisle and bay they were in, but no luck. Fortunately, when I was about to give up and go home defeated, an employee was able to assist me. We confirmed together that there were, in fact, no more of the cheap twenty-dollar paper blackout shades, and I was distraught. The next best option was ninety-dollar high-end shades; my budget said, “No, we definitely can’t afford those!”

To provide a little necessary backstory, the budget that we were sticking to as a family was new to us this year.

“Do you want these?” The employee was waiting for my response. Unsure of myself, I nodded and uttered with despair, “Sure.” It was only two seconds later that an off-duty manager happened to be walking by and witnessed the situation. Turning toward the employee, he spoke. “Hook him up. We are out of the ones he wanted, so give him those at the price of what he was looking for.” My jaw hit the floor! What just happened? Making eye contact with the employee, I realized that we both were on the same page and that the manager couldn’t mean what he had just said. But he repeated himself and made it very clear that I was supposed to get the high-end, ninety-dollar blackout shades for the original twenty dollars I was planning on spending. Now that was God’s grace!

Leading up to this moment in time, I had not been stewarding the financial resources that God had given us the best, and this felt like the last thing I deserved. I mean, if I couldn’t steward money well, why would God bless me with a financial gift like this? But now, isn’t that the definition of grace? I did nothing to deserve God’s favor, and he gave me way more than I was asking for. I experienced God’s grace fueled by his love for me. It’s an interesting phrase, grace fueled by love. Now that we know all about grace, let’s tackle the topic of God’s love.

God’s love is the very epicenter of our existence. If it weren’t for his love to share himself with creation, God would not have formed the earth and all of life. As I share this definition of love, start picturing God with these amazing attributes. The perfect definition of love can be found in 1 Corinthians 13:4–7: “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”

How many of us picture God this way? My guess is not many. Well, I will give us some credit. I think we picture God as maybe a handful of these words, depending on what has transpired in our lives. Dwell on these descriptions of love for a moment with me. Different from a feeling, isn’t it? From reading these words Paul wrote to the church in Corinth, we conclude that love is an action and not a noun. Love is a choice, not a feeling. God, the first and greatest Father, chooses to love us perfectly, no matter what we have done, are currently doing, or will do with our lives. This includes the way we treat him as well.

This is the love of the perfect Father. Patiently and with kindness, he draws near. When he is with us, there is no jealousy, and he is not boasting of his greatness. He carries himself with honor, and we can sense his humility. Keeping a calm composure through all we do, he does not demand his way of us. Much more, he does not keep score of what we have done against him. Burdened by injustice, he presses hard for the truth and rejoices greatly for it! Most importantly, our heavenly Father never ever gives up on us, no matter the cost to him. His hope for us is unmatched; he knows us; he created us in our mothers’ wombs in the secret place (Psalm 139). Even to the point of enduring the cross, in every circumstance, his choice to love us cannot be stopped. Relentlessly pursuing our souls, God embodies grace fueled by love. Love is the power to unleash grace!

What is a good or tangible image of grace and love in a person? Or how can we connect these two traits into a single character trait that we can see play out? The answer is found in the Gospel of John in the personified version of God: Jesus.

Let’s look at this Scripture from John 10:14–16: “I am the good shepherd; I know my own sheep, and they know me, just as my Father knows me and I know the Father. So I sacrifice my life for the sheep. I have other sheep, too, that are not in this sheepfold. I must bring them also. They will listen to my voice, and there will be one flock with one shepherd.”

Jesus references himself as a shepherd. When I picture a shepherd or, as Jews would have in that day in age, lowly nobodies out in the middle of nowhere come to mind. If you do some research, that is pretty much a definition of a shepherd. However, there is a deeper meaning behind this. If we just look on the surface, we do not see much, but let’s look deeper at the heart of a shepherd, particularly in the way Jesus describes it.

In this, Jesus is explaining that we are sheep and I am tempted to feel insulted. Have you ever watched YouTube shorts or TikToks on sheep? They are dumb! So I won’t get caught up in the analogy of being a dumb animal. I will look deeper. Honestly, I think dumb is a good comparison. I live my life thinking I know how to do everything the best, I can do everything on my own, and I never need anyone’s help (most of the time). Don’t believe me? Next time you have to go somewhere unfamiliar, ask for directions. Gotcha! We all know we guys do not ask for directions. So it is with this mentality that I go wandering off and do my own thing all the time. I bet Jesus looks at me and sighs for the millionth time when he has to go rescue me from whatever ravine I got myself stuck in, especially if it is one he just pulled me out of. But I do not think he is irritated or annoyed; as we just learned, he is grace and love. It is his choice to lavish these gifts on us.

Jesus knows his sheep; he knows me. He knows the ones who are in the pen and the ones who are not. He sacrifices for the sheep, even the ones who are gone. You hear all the time that the greatest love anyone can show is that someone lays down their life for another; that is sacrifice. Being willing to do that for others who are “not in your pen” or “obeying your commands” is a very gracious act. So instead of viewing Jesus as a smelly nobody in the middle of a field, picture him looking over you, ready to sacrifice for you at a moment’s notice, no matter what you may have done or are doing.

It is with this that I present to you the template of fatherhood, God himself, a perfect Good Shepherd. It’s a high bar, I know, but we must not let that scare us from looking to him as our example to follow. Sometimes I wonder if it is even worth it since I know I can’t come close to being a father like God. When thoughts like this come, though, I find myself thinking about God’s grace and love toward me. I am reminded that his grace is going to be my ability to love, parent, and shepherd like him. I am also comforted knowing that even in all my failures, past, present, and future, I will have this same grace and love surrounding me and following me all the days of my life.

I also remember my earthly dad when I am in these moments. My father is a man who embodies to me what it means to be a father like Jesus. Actually, just like Jesus adopts us into his family, my dad was able to adopt me from Lithuania when I was about eighteen months old and bring me into his loving family. While growing up, I saw my dad live every day, no matter what he was doing, with the purpose we talked about earlier that God provides us. He pursued and still pursues a pure life and relationship with God with his every being. I noticed him choosing joy in the midst of some very difficult circumstances, but above all, I will always remember his expressing of gratitude to God, no matter what came his way. He still does this to this day, and it is another example I hold tight to. I could write a whole chapter about my dad and all the ways his impact has forever shaped my life. In all honesty, there is a good chance I would not be writing this book if I did not have the practical and tangible guidance and example of my dad in my everyday life, showing me who Jesus was and mirroring him in the role of a father. God revived my experience of fatherhood by giving me my dad. I went from being fatherless to having a father, and it was all at the hand of God.

What about your earthly father? I know we all do not have fathers like I did growing up, but for those of us who did, that is a man deserving of your honor and respect, and is an example to follow. If you had a dad you would not want to give a second thought to, who was a strong mentor in your life that you would say was like a dad to you, or whom you viewed as one?

One of the best things we can give our children is a practical example of what it looks like to become more like Jesus. When we intentionally spend time with him, we will start to mirror who Jesus is to our children, and they will get to know who he is not by what we say but by what we do.

I do not want to pass up an important fact to acknowledge. Many of us dads often wrestle with discouragement when it comes to our parenting journey. We feel that we are failures, we can never do things right, and we just screwed up our kids; these are daily wrestling matches in our minds. Turning this discouragement into an encouragement, I want to remind us of this valuable truth. We will not parent perfectly like God, but we will have the choice to believe in God as our source of strength to continue.

How is it possible that God can be our source of strength? It is through the power of the Holy Spirit inside us. It is through his power and his alone that we will be able to become the kind of fathers we want to be. Sacrificing, teaching, training, protecting, encouraging, motivating, loving, and leading as fathers will all come to us from the greatest, perfect Father if we are willing to submit our lives to him and let him be the ruler and authority over us.

If you want this power from God, it is possible for you! By placing your faith in God and surrendering to him, you will find freedom and the strength to become who you were designed to be. You will be filled with the Holy Spirit, and the same power that raised Christ from the dead will now live in you!

Ephesians 1:19–20 states, “ I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms.”

All you have to do is believe that Jesus is who he says he is and repent. Believe that he died on the cross for your sins and in three days, rose again, defeating sin and death, bridging the gap between humanity and God once and for all. Through Jesus, it is possible to be reunited with God. See what Jesus himself says here from the book of John:

• John 3:16: “For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.”
• John 3:18–21: “Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son. This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God.” (NIV)

Notice how Jesus paints the picture of repentance here. Coming into the light means you admit the darkness is sin, and you must decide to step out of it, admitting you are wrong. If you believe in Jesus and choose to follow him, it will mean you choose to step out of living in the darkness of a lie and choose to live in the light of the truth. It is not an apology and continuing to walk in the darkness. It is an apology and turning and walking into the light. Sound impossible? It isn’t. The Holy Spirit that fills you when you place your faith in Jesus provides the strength you would have never had to walk in a new direction.

After going to the very beginning of life, to creation, it is determined that the starting point to life itself is relationship with God. He is the Creator of the universe who wills his creation to live in the pursuit of purity and joy while in relationship with him. If we are walking and talking with him, we will start to see his grace being poured out all over our lives. It is through his grace we can see he is a God fueled by his love for us, and I would hope we do not hold back our gratitude. He is our shepherd, looking out for us always, no matter the circumstances we find ourselves in, and he is the perfect father who will help us become the fathers he designed us to be.

What can we practically do with this information? Well, first, we must not get discouraged. We will never be God and never be perfect, and that is okay. To acknowledge this is the first step. This allows for God’s grace to take the lead in our parenting. Even though we are earthly fathers, we get to allow our perfect Father in on our journey and take the lead. It is him and us at the helm of the ship of life, and that is a good place to be.

His leadership of grace and love will guide us and help us navigate life’s most intense, confusing, and saddening moments. Pay attention to him and learn from him and his example. We have the template of a perfect Father at our fingertips. Let’s lean into it.

With God in the lead, this leaves us under his wing. Who are we thought to be next to God, and why would he let us just go about it with his guidance, whether we listen or not? This is a good question, and to answer it, it will take more than a few sentences. Let us dive into who we are in the next chapter.